Slow News Day

PartyNeutral happens to be a bit busy today, so we'll only be taking links from CNN, because everything's right there and convenient. But don't think that we've gone liberal partisan hack on you. Today was a pretty slow news day as far as we could tell, although the big news is that Scooter has been sentenced.

Speaking of which, the long odyssey of Scooter Libby has come to an end. It all started in the Office of the Man Who Shoots Others In The Face, Dick Cheney. You see, Scooter was Cheney's Chief of Staff, and organized Dick's important day-to-day events. This whole Valerie Plame thing came along and messed things up--if you want long, boring reading, you can read up on pretty much everything you need to know about Plamegate here. But that isn't what I'm here for. You see, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby is now headed to jail for 30 months and has been slapped with a $250,000 fine. Is it excessive? Read a conservative blog if you want to hear yes, a liberal one if you want to hear no. Our take? It was an interesting case that was a tad too convoluted for me to be comfortable, although the verdict is the verdict: it falls within sentencing guidelines and doesn't deviate either way. Don't be shocked if Bush steps in and commutes Scooter's sentence, though.

Following up on yesterday's entire William Jefferson thing, he's stepped down from his position on the House Small Business Committee, which is really a loss for him, or something, we're sure. I'm shocked that the Democrats haven't kicked him out entirely yet; their thing was supposed to be clamping down hard on corruption. But they haven't, at least not with respect to this issue, and it is the only major corruption thorn in the Democrats' side as of now. PartyNeutral wouldn't be surprised to see Jefferson kicked out of the House, either by purist Democrats or a handful of opportunist Republicans.

And, finally, in the irony department: Natalee Halloway's mom (you know, high schooler, alcohol, Aruba, never been seen since?) and Jonbenet Ramsey's dad (you know, murderer, never got caught, never been seen since?) are dating. Which is just completely and totally weird. One could say that misery loves company, but PartyNeutral can't quite ever recall something being quite as miserable, and as joined together, as these two. The CNN article notes that one of their lawyers declares them 'not [necessarily] romantically involved.' If you need your lawyer to say you're not sleeping with somebody...well, PartyNeutral is going to be neutral on this one, but we think you know where we stand.

In a similar vein, Paris Hilton is still in jail. 1 day down.